You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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