Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
