Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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