I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
