What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
