At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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