Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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