Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This baby is an asshole
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
