I feel great
I just peed on a car
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
