Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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