He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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