According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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