so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
