Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
