on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize