Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm jealous of your bromance
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
