While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize