It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
