At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
