You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
