I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please, let me fuck your mom
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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