it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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