1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
