I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
