We're facebook friends in real life
"it" just moved
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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