ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My liver is preforming stress tests.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
