talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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