Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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