everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
