WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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