I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
