i just google imaged poop.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
