i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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