I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I would fuck him just for his dog
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
