I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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