I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
