P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
