Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
