he wants to bone in the snuggie
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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