I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
