Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
