My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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