yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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