is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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