I'm jealous of your bromance
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
