y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
