she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
