She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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