4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
