So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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