The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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