break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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