I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize