sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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