I just pynch a tree in the face
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
