she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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