I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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