I just threw up on my dentist
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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