My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
