hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
