My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
