It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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