I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
