He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize