my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
