just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
